“A big part of letting go is recognizing when it is time to stay in a situation and when it is time to move on.”
-Darren L. Johnson-
Everything has its time. The seasons change, people grow and mature, and things end. Letting go is sometimes a hard concept to handle, but a necessity of life. Whether it is letting go of a person, or ending a relationship, moving to a new city/state, changing jobs, or death, it is important to accept the change and move on. You cannot enjoy spring if you refuse to let winter end.
People come into our lives for various reasons and seasons. Letting go of someone and detaching yourself from the relationship is essential to progress. If you are constantly looking behind you, you will never see where your future is taking you. It can be painful, to let go, relinquish a long term relationship, say goodbye to a loved one who has passed; but all of it is necessary to appreciate the future and what it holds. I cannot speak from experience about losing a loved one, but I understand that in order to maintain a healthy relationship with yourself, you must accept the change. Life is never easy. Love is not always kind. I have seen too many people focus on their pasts that they miss their futures. Life is passing them by because they are stuck in a point in their past. Your loved one would have wanted you to move on and enjoy life without them.
Relationships are tricky as well. Being with someone, building a life with them, is a powerful connection. Suddenly ending that relationship can be devastating, especially if children were involved. However, if we dwell on our failed past relationships, we are letting them dictate our future ones. We can never truly open up to someone else if we are constantly thinking of someone from years past. I believe that time heals all. The grief may never fully leave you, but you should not let it consume you. If you do, your life will always be in a shadow of sadness. Opportunities for happiness are squandered because they are overshadowed by grief and pain. Learn to accept what has happened, appreciate the time spent and shared, learn from the situation, and move on. I am not saying to erase your loved one from memory, or attempt to eradicate the years spent with a person, I am simply stating to take a fresh perspective and change your outlook on what happened. Say, “I am glad I have such fond memories of [deceased love one]” or “At least I learned that I could not be with someone of a different faith”. You will find that you grow as a person when you choose to let the pain go and accept new life.
Tragedy can either make us stronger, or break us down. Time, love and support from others, and self-esteem will be your armor against negativity. Move forward with your eyes on the future and let go of burdens of the past.